The Countdown Begins - two weeks, four days, and nine hours
Hallelujah! On the fourth of September at nine o’clock in the morning, the short little critter that lives at our house, named “Clark.” starts kindergarten. This is the beginning of a new era at our house. I can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that I, at least, survived the first five years of his life. The era of the bottle. potty training, the terrible three’s, and the fearsome four’s are behind me. Now the era of having an elementary school kid in the house is in front of me. I really can’t believe how fast the last five years have gone by. But you can believe me when I say. I am ready to send him to school, so I can find out if it will be an easier task for someone else to keep him quiet, than it has been for me.
You have always heard about kids that are born with silver spoons in their mouths. Well, “Clark” was born with something in his mouth too, unfortunately it was not a silver spoon, it was…a motor.
This little motor mouth runs full power from early morning until bedtime, with the only shut off time being: when it has to be refueled with something to eat or drink. And even then it doesn’t completely stop running. It’s kind of a talented little motor though. It can ask all kinds of questions and make the strangest sound effects during a game of Superman. It can also sing all the latest television commercials and tell you the most amazing things. For an example, the other day the motor was running at full power (as usual) when all of a sudden - out of the clear blue sky - it said, “Oh Mom, (every sentence begins with these two words) did you know that they said on TV that, “The Joy of Sex” is on at the movie theatre? Now what do you think about that?” Now what am I supposed to think about that, when a five year old asks a question like this? I’m sure all the experts, who write the books on child rearing, would say…there must be a reason for this kind of question, so sit down with your child and talk about it, honestly Baloney! I feel like the best answer for this kind of question is standard…“I don’t know. Now turn off the TV and go out and play.”
I have been trying to condition this kid for school all summer. By conditioning. I mean that I have been trying to tell him that he will have to stop talking all of the time and listen to what his teacher is telling him. When I ask him how he is going to do this, he says, “Oh! That’s easy. I’ll just raise my hand and then I’ll say something.” Knowing his history of conversation, he will have his hand permanently raised above his head, from nine in the morning until kindergarten is dismissed at 11:30.
So in two weeks, four days, and nine hours (but who’s counting?), I will walk him up to the school and with a tear in my eye. I will leave him in the classroom to start his new career in learning. Then I will go home for 2.5 hours to a quiet, peaceful house. Gosh! I’m get- ting tears in my eyes just thinking about it…but I’m sure it won’t take me long to get used to it.
