Sing One Verse

Sing one verse then repeat the chorus of T.I.D.E., tide.

Soap Operas, what would our lives be without soap operas. Just think how dull our lives are compared to the soaps. I have a favorite soap. The Young and the Restless, and I get upset if I can’t watch it everyday. The title of this great piece of entertainment says a lot about the show. Maybe all the characters aren’t young, but you can’t find fault with the word restless. If everyone in this country lived this pace in their lives, the national life expectancy would be about 26.8 years and our legal expenses would be unbelievable.

I’ve watched the YR (as the producers refer to it) for a number of years and it is amazing how so many people on these shows disappear without a trace. I think there must be some kind of brainwashing that is going on while you are watching soaps, something that makes you forget about the characters that used to be on the show. Like Lance, what ever happened to him and his family? Lance was the guy married to Laurie but was in love with Laurie’s sister Leslie that was married to his brother Luke but had amnesia and had forgotten she was married to Luke and had a little kid. Then when things were working out so well because Laurie had Leslie’s little kid, and the kid thought his aunt was his mother and his mother was his aunt and Uncle Lance was his father and his daddy was his uncle, they all disappeared.

With this group of confused people off to the faraway land of canceled contracts, the YR has the Abbot family. The Abbot family is a family that we all have to envy, the great American dream in reality. Great wealth and social status with only a few worries. The Abbot family consists of John, the handsome, understanding father; Jill the young beautiful, insecure, stepmother; Dina, the older beautiful secure real mother; Jack, the scheming handsome playboy son; Ashley, the beautiful (and cute) confused, playgirl, chemist turned executive daughter; Traci, the pudgy youngest daughter with a complex and Mamie, the black nosy maid that hates Jill. This family lives in a beautiful gorgeous house with lots of Mercedes in their beautiful gorgeous garage. Everyone in this family wears only designer clothes and fur coats (It is always winter except when some one buys a new revealing swimsuit, to wear while having a glass of champagne around the swimming pool in the backyard). This family, that must have their hair combed twice a day at the designer hair salon, does have a few problems though. The latest is that John just found out he was still married to Dina so now Jill doesn’t have a husband but she is still living with John. Jack’s wife Patty, shot Jack so they got a divorce and he had an affair with Jill. Jill got pregnant and you can figure out the question of the week. Jack and Jill are being blackmailed by a former girl friend of Jack’s, that figured out that Jack and Jill went up the hill and Jack is paying a price for sure. Ashley went to a church, chocked full of wedding guests, in a $1,000 wedding dress to marry her fiance and backed out just in time because she realized she was in love with her mother’s step son, Marc, and Ashley hates her mother. Now another everyday problem has cropped up. Traci overcame her complex with her college professor, who is going to work In a clothing store, and yep! Got pregnant. Now Tracy has to tell John that she is you know what, but I’m sure that John will put his arms around her and say. “Tracy, my darling where did I go wrong?” And I bet when Mamie finds out this juicy bit of news, she won’t tell Jill.

So now, with his son trying to steal the company secrets to start his own business with his mother, his oldest daughter going with his wife’s stepson and his youngest daughter, you know what, by her college professor, John has to decide whether he should divorce his first wife and stay married to his second wife or if he should leave his second wife and not divorce his first wife.

One thing for sure, what ever John decides it will be a very calm, polite, logical, beautiful decision that will be to the best interest of everyone. I just hope John gets these little problems solved and out of the way before the producers start canceling contracts.

The Abbots and everyone else on the soaps certainly do not have the serious problems the rest of us have. Not one time while watching these people, have I heard anyone say, “Darling, did you see how much the Public Service bill was for last month?” or “Darling, we better make the house payment today, it was due last week.” Maybe their bills and payments disappear.